JEALOUSY IN RELATIONSHIP

JEALOUSY

 A feeling that someone might take what is yours.

Most often people in a relationship feels jealous and insecured that your partner might find someone else more appealing, and they fear that he or she will reject them. They feel threatened and thus may end up taking decisions they shouldn't.
It is an emotion that almost everyone in a relationship experiences from time to time. persistent feelings of jealousy in a relationship can damage a relationship and can prove difficult for both the partners,particularly if the feelins are irrational or have no basis in reality.

CAUSE OF JEALOUSY !

 It  involves a wide array of thoughts,emotions and behaviors, but feelings of jealousy are usually rooted in three main causes- Insecurity, Fear and Competition.

Insecurity- Insecurities arise when one of the partner start doubting the feelings of the other partner. It often has roots in low self esteem but can also arise due to lack of attention from the partner. People who compare themselves to others or constantly try to live up to unrealistic expectations of themselves may find these feelings arise frequently. 

Fear-  Fear of losing your partner is one of the main cause of jealousy. Though, sometimes it encourages a couple not to take each other for granted and helps in strengthening the bond between couples. But when this fear becomes obsessive and irrational it can cause harm to the relationship. Providing or seeking reassurance can help overcome some of these fears.

Competition-  These are normal human emotions from which jealousy can arise. Most of the people waste energy trying to be better than others instead of trying to be their 'BEST' self by becoming unique individuals. Competitiveness can sometimes help one to do one's best, but can result in constantly questioning oneself, what others have they dont.

IS IT BAD TO BE JEALOUS ?

No, not always. jealousy shows the signs of love, it shows that their partner dont want to lose you. And if handled in a proper way, jealousy is not harmful. But mostly people out of anger and insecurity, dont act in the proper way jeopardizing the  relationship. It leads to aggressive behavior, relationship dissatisfaction,feeling of insecurity, unwelcomed arguments and conflict.

Thats why its important how we express or respond to jealousy. its important to communicate about our feelings of jealousy in a proper way.

HOW TO GET OVER JEALOUSY?

When you notice that you are feeling jealous, take a moment, breathe slowly, and observe your thoughts and feelings. Recognize that jealous thoughts are not the same thing as a REALITY. You may think that your partner is interested in someone else, but that doesn’t mean that he really is. Thinking and reality are different.

Accept that you can have an emotion — and allow it to be. You don’t have to “get rid of the feeling.” We have found that mindfully standing back and observing that an emotion is there can often lead to the feeling weakening on its own.Like many worries, jealousy seeks certainty. “I want to know for sure that he isn’t interested in her.” Or, “I want to know for sure that we won’t break up.” Ironically, some people will even precipitate a crisis in order to get the certainty: “I’ll break things off with her before she breaks up with me!”But uncertainty is part of life, and we have to learn how to accept it. 

Discussing your feelings with your partner is one of the best ways to tackle the problem head-on. No one wants to admit they’re jealous, and even after you’ve admitted it to yourself, that next step is just as hard. (Or potentially harder.) Speaking the words “I am jealous” aloud to your partner isn’t high on anyone’s list of favorite things to do, but it is significant. Once you discuss the situation and acknowledge your feelings, you’ll be that much closer to getting to the root of the issue. And you shouldn’t have to do that on your own. listening to your partner is the next and really important step in the process of overcoming jealousy. Havea thorough discussion. Learn how to share responsibility in solving problems — use “mutual problem-solving skills.”

If you want to overcome the issue of jealousy within your relationship, payback is not the answer.

Jealousy seldom makes relationships more secure. Practicing effective relationship behaviors is often a much better alternative.

It’s okay to let these thoughts cross your mind, as long as you attempt to overcome them. Thoughts can be fleeting. Speak your mind, work on your self-control, and ultimately, give yourself grace when it comes to figuring out your next step. If you’re jealous because your partner is disrespectful and dismissive and openly flirtatious with other people, allow yourself to be upset, get angry, have the conversation, and then give yourself grace to figure out what your next step is. You deserve it.