RELATIONSHIP - Is getting a proper CLOSURE a myth?

'CLOSURE'

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Well, From relationship point of view, ending things in a peaceful way is getting a closure.It is when you and your ex accept that your relationship is over and you both feel a sense of resolution.

But closure is a funny thing.It looks like different thing to different people.The sad fact is,most people will never experience the closure they are looking for,and even if they do get closure,it wont come in the form they wanted or expected.

For some people, closure means having the person who wronged them admit their mistake and apologize.But this kind of closure is rarely seen in real world.

Another kind of closure is simply revenge. People want to get back at the person or want to witness something bad happening to the person. Though,according to me,it's not really closure, since it does not leave us with a good feeling afterward.

WHY DO WE NEED A CLOSURE?

Inherently, we human have a habit of forming stories inside our head. 

when we get a proper closure, we can structure our past, present and future with less or no assumptions. we get to understand what went wrong and reconfigure our story accordingly.

but when we are refused closure, however, attempts to understand what happened flood our mind.

and we are left to wonder,'what did  do?', 'how could someone i thought i knew so well do this to me?'.Without these answers, we lose our sense of what we know about who we are and the trust we have in our decisions. thus not receiving closure can be a deeply traumatic experience.

HOW TO GIVE SOMEONE CLOSURE?

Breaking up with someone, who cares about you is not a easy thing to do. But, your partner deserves to know the truth, even though its  hurting. so, if your feelings have changed, or if the reason is something else, try to give them a proper closure by being completely honest about your feelings. It also means you should take responsibilities for your actions in the relationship and potentially feeling guilty  for ending a relationship.

HOW TO GIVE YOURSELF CLOSURE?

If your partner refuses to give you closure, after you have repeatedly asked for it. Its time to understand that he/she was never 'the one' because of their hurtful actions. moreover you can write a letter or leave a message without expecting a reply. 

keep reminding yourself that sometimes things dont work out the way you want it to be and there is nothing you can do about it. sometimes feelings fade, there is no real reasons for it. it may not be fair, and it may hurt, but its okay.

  

Remember, even though closure looks like different things for different people, we all want to feel healed enough to be able to move on.

"THE SATISFACTION THAT COMES WITH KNOWING THAT YOU DIDNT NEED ANY PART OF THE PERSON YOU ARE LEAVING BEHIND IN ORDER TO MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE WILL BE THE GREATEST CLOSURE YOU WILL EVER KNOW."